Homosexuality and Schools...

I am reluctant to write this post because of the responses I may receive. However, I feel that it is necessary to write this post because many more homosexuals are having children either through adoption/artificial insemination/surrogacy. I currently have one student who has 2 mommy's, and I'm fairly certain that I will have many more students with either 2 mommy's or 2 daddies in the future.

I'm concerned about a strong reluctance to recognize homosexuality in the schools in this area. I don't know about other school systems so I'm just going to talk about the schools in this area because I know the general mind set at them. Though most all the teachers I have worked with do not say "he's different because he has gay/lesbian parents." I did hear one of my co-workers, in response to my comment about a new students behavior, "well he does have 2 mom's you know." as though that was a reason for the students behavior. I'm not saying that in some children, not being 'like the other kids'-(whatever that is these days)-having 2 moms or 2 dads does not cause conflicting feelings at certain periods in their lives. But I do not believe that a child with gay/lesbian parents are any worse, or better, off than children who have a mom and a dad or are being raised by only 1 parent. I firmly believe that parents can be good parents, or poor parents-regardless of their sexual orientation.

My concern is for the children. In schools teachers recognize and step in when there is an issue between children based on race-("I don't want to sit by her because she's black"), age-("I'm not playing with a kindergartener!"), gender-("But Ms. Jen, she's a girl!"), or disability-("he can't play basketball because he's in a wheelchair.") All of those quotes are from my 2nd graders this school year. A teacher initiated and guided a class discussion about acceptance when these comments, and many others, were made. My question is where are these teachers when a child is being singled out/picked on by other children-(or teachers, which does happen)-because they have 2 moms or 2 dads.

I have a few of my own ideas about why teacher do not step in/promote acceptance about homosexuality. The one that I think carries the most weight in schools here is below.

1. It is not acceptable to talk about homosexuality in schools. I'm not promoting having a full out genetic, moral, or otherwise way too advanced talk with elementary school children. But I think that, just as in adopting or children from single parent families, it should be discussed the same way. "Not all families are the same. Some children have just a mom or a dad, some children have a mom and a dad, some children are adopted, and some children have 2 moms or 2 dads." Many parents of students have a problem with this though. Why, I'm not 100% sure. But I also have parents of students who will not let their children play with children of divorced parents-(swear to you a parent told me this last year.) Perhaps the teachers own shallow, narrow minded view is influencing their feelings about the child/children. Maybe teachers are fearful of being fired or reprimanded for promoting what, in many communities, is seen as unacceptable behavior. Or certain people are nervous about families that are different from theirs. Another explanation may be that parents aren't sure how they feel because they have never been in a situation where they are required to think about how they feel about homosexuality and children of homosexuals. Whatever the reason may be, many teachers are reluctant to deal with events that stem from a child having homosexual parents.

That's a small portion of my view. I just want to leave you with one thing that is very important to me. It is also something that I feel should be important to all teachers of children:

Children are very perceptive. They notice things that adults do not think twice about. They hear everything, even if you do not think they do. Many people, when they feel something is unacceptable-(such as homosexuality)-talk about it to other people. Being human, we tend to seek out people whom we either know or think feel the same way we do. Think about it, if you feel strongly about something, you talk to people who you can trust and often times, who feel the same way you do. Teachers do it often, as do many other people in many other professions. The way you feel about something can influence how you react to certain people, including children. Many people, teachers included, react to children of homosexual parents in a certain way based on what his/her parents sexual orientation. This reaction can influence other children in that teachers class to react to that child in the same way. In effect, the child is being singled out for something that the child never chose for himself/herself. Think about how that child feels. So if you are a teacher, and you have a child who is being singled out in your class, for whatever reason---look at yourself first. Look at how you are responding to that child, maybe your students are just mimicking what you are doing.

Okay, I'm off my soap box now.

Anxiety...

I've always been an anxious person. I'm not 100% sure why I get so anxious, but I am nontheless. I had it under control for awhile. However, lately it's been getting the best of me--in the form of panic attacks. Nothing major, but enough to disrupt my day and once or twice I've even had to leave class because of them. I used to be on medication for it, but I went off of it last May. I was doing fairly well off of it until I became ill last year and that sent my anxiety through the roof. I had my surgery, got everything figured out, and didn't really think much of it. In my mind, the thing that was causing the anxiety was gone-(being ill and being told that I was perfectly fine and it was all in my head)-so the anxiety would be gone as well. I was naive. I am to a point now where I'm having mild panic attacks a minimum of 3 times a week and usually I end up having as many as 8 or 9 in a week. I'm going to see the Dr. and a counselor on Friday and Monday, respctively, but the question now becomes do I medicate myself again, or do I just suck it up and be a ball of anxiety? Questions, questions....the worst part isn't the anxiety attacks, but worrying about the anxiety attacks-(how's that for messed up?) What to do, what to do? Time will only tell I guess. Wish me luck!

Back to Winter...

And glad to be here! As crazy as that sounds, I definitely don't miss being in Florida. Granted it's cold, but at least I get some peace and quiet. The arguing between my brother-in-law and sister never stopped the whole time I was there. When he would go to work, she'd turn on me-which didn't work to well. My brother-in-law made a quote to my sister one day while we were sitting at a restaurant, "When I call you my princess, I mean it as the princess and prince situation. Not the princess and the pauper." That pretty much sums it up. My sister is a rude, condescending, disrespectful, and lazy wife. He does everything-(all of the housework, laundry, etc.) and they both work 40+ hrs. a week. But everything he does is "wrong" and when he tried to fix it it's still "wrong." Needless to say, I'm not very optimistic that he's going to stick around-and honestly, I can't blame him.

After that awkward vacation with my sister, I flew back to my hometown of Marquette and stayed at my dad's. My mom was there, she moved back into his house-(with his permission) when I had my surgery and just never really left. She's leaving at the end of March and moving back to her home in the Kalamazoo area. Then my parents tell me that they are getting back together. I didn't think much of it since I don't live with either of them anymore and it really doesn't affect me. It's the reason why they're getting back together that threw me for a loop. My dad is losing his job in the fall. They're selling his house this summer and moving into my mom's house downstate. Okay, that was a bit of a shocker since he has worked for the hospital for 26 years and now he's losing his job.

Then I drove back to my house, excited to be back and be able to have my own space again. Had a nice sit down talk with my roommate about me moving out in May when the lease is up. It went a lot better then I expected, mainly because she's thinking about moving out anyways but wasn't going to because she didn't want to leave me with full rent, which is the same reason I hadn't said anything to her up until this point either. So, we're getting that figured out slowly but surely. Now I just need to find a place to live :) Kind of a long story.

I go back to school and work tomorrow. Have 2 exams on Tuesday--not looking forward to them. Hope you all have a good week.